Humberton Guard Guild Website

Terris wrote:Heard a noise as I was exiting the bathroom after my morning shower and shave...

As I was reading this I thought to myself "He forgot the shit!" and had thus concluded that the noise would be your pants filling. Is that normal?

Javai wrote:The moral of the story is to avoid glass furniture and ornaments if you have a cat - this I learned many moons ago

I'd prefer just to avoid having a cat

Great result

Haven't enjoyed a game that much since we beat Everton 4-0 on Boxing Day...

Funniest thing was they were so shell-shocked after 5 minutes they couldn't even boo Rodney Trotter as an ex-Villain. Thank f*ck Blues are giving me something to cheer this season!

Didn't expect that - great result. Had it down as a draw with Hammers winning the replay. My grandad (who's a lifelong Irons fan) will be on the ceiling

I'd feel sorry for Scotland if all their fans didn't insist on cheering on whoever England are playing against ...

Clearly a fake. You wouldn't see me in white trousers...

Evzy wrote: Meanwhile... here is a picture of that ole bloke Bracken telling his goat its been a very naughty boy!

Looks pretty cool

Lo! Who is that, stalking over the fields! It is Bracken, hands clutching two hardened pitas! He roars thunderously:

"You in some shit now, muhfuh! I feel like chicken tonight!"



Pretty accurate actually

Evzy wrote:So Brack are you saying you have never been stiffed by a staffie?

I've never been stiffed by a staffie, piped by a poodle or collered by a collie. Ever.

Bacon sarnie with lots of hp. Just keep some kitchen towel handy for when the fat drips on your keyboard

lol that is sick.

As for the inference by Evzy that was me, I mean please...I hope you all know me better than that, and that I'd never stoop as low as a Staffordshire bull terrier...

Jeez. Saturday morning after a few ales and you put this up. I need to go and have a dump now to consider this...

Socializer 66%
Killer 53%
Achiever 40%
Explorer 40%

Type: SKA

Cool...I'm a Ska person...think that means I like The Specials and Bad Manners

Or.... I'm a social killer - not sure if that means I like to kill with my friends or just kill my friends...

Evzy wrote:So whats the oldest beer known to man as well then?

Answer we got is that the Sumerians (whoever they were) brewed beer something like 4000 years ago... though I'd imagine it will have gone flat by now

Minimarv wrote:so what is scampi? ( apart from fingerbobs friend)

The answer we got was that it's prawns or shrimps coated in breadcrumbs...its the whole dish that is called scampi. We asked it because we weren't sure whether it was prawns in it or some reconstituted fish inside the breadcrumbs

You're down the pub, and after a few beers the conversation drifts off on a tangent, and someone asks a peculiar question that has everyone stumped. You know, things like "What exactly is scampi?", or "What's the oldest beer known to man?". What do you do? The answer: Text your q...

Great start for the Hammers, and atleast Villa didn't lose...though Campo and Diouf should have walked for 2-footed tackles

I really do hope West Ham stay up - my grandad is a lifelong West Ham fan in his 70's and still gets to the occasional game (even though he lives in Worcester now), so I always look out for their score. I just don't have much faith in Pardew. Basically the Hammers should never have got rid of Harry ...

The Premiership kicks off tomorrow with a new season. :clap: Predictions for the season: Champions: Chelsea FA Cup Winners: Chelsea League Cup Winners: Bolton Champion's League qualifiers: Arsenal, Man. Utd, Liverpool Euro Cup Qualifiers: Tottenham, Middlesbrough Relegated: West Ham, Sunderland, W.B...

I got the Ham too