gubbins
Moderator: Stranglehold Moderators
-
- Camembert
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2003 9:41 am
-
- Camembert
- Posts: 59
- Joined: Wed Mar 19, 2003 9:41 am
(Our story so far...)
Once upon a time there was this guy who was an alien from the planet Dorket and he had a very green shiny sword, which he often used to cut cheese, his favourite being his mum's home-made smelly blue smelly sock and chive. One day, he was approached by a shady looking man in a dirty raincoat, who said: "I know how dorky this sounds .... but haven't we met somewhere before ?" OMG he replied its you that bloke of "Home and Away - Anno 1503 !! You know, I was the guy that asked you if you would be interesting in buying a nice orange well-fed dancing hamster, and you said "I would but it is a little over-weight and will not fit in the back seat of my 2 horsepower Cargo Cart Convertible."
His great aunt doreen had left him a fortune in her will, this allowed him to buy a Cargo Cart Van with room for himself, the hamster and his green shiny sword, and he could have lived happily ever after if it weren't that one small condition in aunte Doreen's will that forced him to make sure that whenever he travel the seven seas he must be accompanied by a very large chocolate covered Cardboard cutout of Britney Spears!!
Now unfortunately the hero of this story was afflicted with a rare, but considerable stroke of luck, that lead to an imposing 72 inch member...ship card for his local beer brewery. Aunte Doreens niece (aka Red hot Lizzie)...(36,24,32) said to him " why don't you just go and pull a pint for yourself, then we can sit down and talk about your finger in your nose as it seems to visit that place a lot".
After 10 pints and a bottle of JD our hero couldn't stop himself from grabbing hold of that episode of eastenders on video he'd always wanted to compare to that eposide of farscape, you know the one where a big green alien, dressed like tom hanks in "the green mile" with small, protruding spherical object called the T.I.T. which (obviously) stands for Trigonometric Ilmenite Translocator, a gift from god. This much fabled artifact led to overwhelming demand for fake T.I.T.s amongst the members of and now he decided to do something about the strange trans-dimensional reality rifts on Dorket which occasionally caused inexplicable leaps in the natural flow of events causing otherwise coherent sentences to... As he walked down the street he suddenly thought 'Fluffy pink slippers' would taste nice with a cold beer. He went towards the pub and sat down at a table outside, but what did he see - none other than the ghost of Frank Zappa who had returned to the mortal world because of a lack of decent tatoo artists in the beyond who could pull off a good "I Love my MOM" chop on the arm. Needless to say, Frank wasn't looking his best, his hair looked as if it had put on one of Dame Edna's reject wigs after the cat had mistaken it for a mouse and his stockings had given him a really bad rash, and had been used as sleeping mat by an incontinent dog. "MY god!" our hero cried out, holding a large gherkin and giving the lady next to him a quick once over. 'Can it really be you Frank? I have been meaning to say this to you for AGES:
Are groupies really...
(Dont even ask how long it took to do that )
Once upon a time there was this guy who was an alien from the planet Dorket and he had a very green shiny sword, which he often used to cut cheese, his favourite being his mum's home-made smelly blue smelly sock and chive. One day, he was approached by a shady looking man in a dirty raincoat, who said: "I know how dorky this sounds .... but haven't we met somewhere before ?" OMG he replied its you that bloke of "Home and Away - Anno 1503 !! You know, I was the guy that asked you if you would be interesting in buying a nice orange well-fed dancing hamster, and you said "I would but it is a little over-weight and will not fit in the back seat of my 2 horsepower Cargo Cart Convertible."
His great aunt doreen had left him a fortune in her will, this allowed him to buy a Cargo Cart Van with room for himself, the hamster and his green shiny sword, and he could have lived happily ever after if it weren't that one small condition in aunte Doreen's will that forced him to make sure that whenever he travel the seven seas he must be accompanied by a very large chocolate covered Cardboard cutout of Britney Spears!!
Now unfortunately the hero of this story was afflicted with a rare, but considerable stroke of luck, that lead to an imposing 72 inch member...ship card for his local beer brewery. Aunte Doreens niece (aka Red hot Lizzie)...(36,24,32) said to him " why don't you just go and pull a pint for yourself, then we can sit down and talk about your finger in your nose as it seems to visit that place a lot".
After 10 pints and a bottle of JD our hero couldn't stop himself from grabbing hold of that episode of eastenders on video he'd always wanted to compare to that eposide of farscape, you know the one where a big green alien, dressed like tom hanks in "the green mile" with small, protruding spherical object called the T.I.T. which (obviously) stands for Trigonometric Ilmenite Translocator, a gift from god. This much fabled artifact led to overwhelming demand for fake T.I.T.s amongst the members of and now he decided to do something about the strange trans-dimensional reality rifts on Dorket which occasionally caused inexplicable leaps in the natural flow of events causing otherwise coherent sentences to... As he walked down the street he suddenly thought 'Fluffy pink slippers' would taste nice with a cold beer. He went towards the pub and sat down at a table outside, but what did he see - none other than the ghost of Frank Zappa who had returned to the mortal world because of a lack of decent tatoo artists in the beyond who could pull off a good "I Love my MOM" chop on the arm. Needless to say, Frank wasn't looking his best, his hair looked as if it had put on one of Dame Edna's reject wigs after the cat had mistaken it for a mouse and his stockings had given him a really bad rash, and had been used as sleeping mat by an incontinent dog. "MY god!" our hero cried out, holding a large gherkin and giving the lady next to him a quick once over. 'Can it really be you Frank? I have been meaning to say this to you for AGES:
Are groupies really...
(Dont even ask how long it took to do that )