Bad poetry day

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Brugs Broodje
Posts: 8916
Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2002 12:00 am
Location: Swindon

Bad poetry day

Post by Fingoniel »

Fingoniel got all poetic about the beta... you have been warned.

Humberton (black)Guard:

On warm summer night we did gather in Altdorf.
Four elves, a wizard bright and a stout little dwarf.
Formed us a guild, we said "We're well 'ard!"
We'll call ourselves the Humberton Guard.

Through dangerous foes we carved out xp,
and "ding!" went the chime as our guild hit level three.
A calendar was spied and a raid was arranged,
This tuesday: first outing; it had been ordained.

With many a cry of "where's the flight master then?"
We assembled a fearsome force of twenty women and men.
First plan: to the slums, to clean out the sewer.
But Gagrus had other plans for our little tour.

As diligent testers we inspected the cobbles
of Altdorf's slum streets, for we had been nobbled
by a rampaging hero - Greater Demon of Nurgle
Maybe we should try somewhere else for our trouble...

Fly to Ekrund, the call - next stop is the Marshes.
Cue a linkdeath, five AFKs and (of course) someone crashes...
All part of the game with a guild run like ours,
Must restock the beer for raids lasting hours

"Once more unto the breach, dear friends", I say,
Eyes rolling the guild all respond with "Which way?"
Push on into Bloodhorn, for rich RvR pickings -
Don't mind that our healers have just become chickens...

We didn't all die - I know, unlikely it seems
We crossed through the frontier and over the streams
Through dragon-bone valleys, past woods filled with snot
and into the marshes - green, slimy, tree rot.

Northwards we go! I'm sure I saw something
Up that way for us that would be rewarding
A Quest! you say? to conquer a wall!
Black Orcs and shamans? Pah! we slaughtered them all.

Onward and onward we turned again south
Through boglands and badlands till we reached the mouth
of a river all tainted with memories of pain;
twisted dark magic of ancient Mourkain

I spy a keep, let's take it for our own.
(Our ambitions by this point had definitely grown)
Out of proportion? We had no qualms...
our trip to the warcamp had furnished us with rams!

Objectives were captured now on to the gate
amok ran our warband. The war would not wait!
But oil did pour down and arrows did rain,
and our poor ram carriers all cried out in pain.

Our warband assembled had besieged the fort,
resistance was not futile despite what we thought.
With an "ack" and an "eek" one by one we did fall
A new HG carpet, from keep wall to wall.

Mission successful! "What?", you may ask?
"But surely you died and failed at your task?"
"Not so", I must say, "for all that was done."
"Most important of all it was bloody good fun."
Mortal puppet of Flimgoblin
Captain of the Humberton Blackguard
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